


I am not the Scranton Strangler By Toby Flenderson

by ZDOGsthl



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Friendship, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 02:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19075612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZDOGsthl/pseuds/ZDOGsthl
Summary: Its 2019 and Toby Flenderson is still not over the Scranton Strangler case. He's also not over the documentary. So he gets a camera to recreate his documentary life, and begins working on a new book about the Strangler case. In the process he begins writing stories about his former co-workers being the Strangler, and reconnects with them along the way.  Rated M to be safe.





	I am not the Scranton Strangler By Toby Flenderson

“Hello...um… My name is Toby Flenderson. You might recognize me from that documentary a few years ago, “The Office: An American Workplace”.”

Toby turned on the lights to reveal that he is sitting in a small room. He is dressed casually, and on the walls behind him are posters from The Office. He has also printed off several internet motivational poster memes of himself. One reads, “Human Resources: Working Hard to Meet Your Low Expectations.” There's also a copy of Pam's painting of the office building behind him.

“My therapist recently suggested that I try to work through some of my issues related to the documentary by recording myself. So I bought this video camera from one of the documentary crew guys who… uh stole it from the production company.”

Toby moves to pick up the camera and walks out of the room. He continues to talk as he moves through his house, revealing more Office memorabilia throughout his house. He has several Dwight bobble heads.

“I… might be a little obsessed with the show. To.. try to move past this, I'm going to film myself going about my daily business. Let me show you the outside of my house.”

Toby heads outside, but a neighbor spots and the camera and begins shouting at him. The neighbor comes over and Toby turns off the camera.When he turns it back on he is in the room again, with a small bruise on his face.

“So… I guess I got to used to having the camera’s around and forgot that that's not something everyone is comfortable with… So I bought a mini camera that I can wear right here,”

Toby points to his shirt. 

“I've also found my old mic pack from the recording days, so I can record everything I say. I'll keep this camera in here to do the “talking head” stuff. I think I miss those.Anyway, today’s a really big day for, because I'll be meeting with a local publisher to talk about my next book.”

__________________________________________________________________________

Toby cuts to a small office. In front of him is a desk with a tired looking man. The man is flipping through Toby’s first draft of his new book.

“So your new book is called…?”

“I am not the Scranton Strangler.”

“And you're writing this because….?”

“After the documentary started playing on Netflix and Comedy Central a lot of people online seem to think I'm the Scranton Strangler. I've spent a lot of time investigating the entire case for my books. Plus, I was on the jury that-”

The man waves his hand to cut him off.

“I know. Everyone knows. We’ve all seen the documentary. And honestly? Who care? The Strangler Case is old news.”

“But George Howard Skub is still on death row, and I still have doubts about that trial.”

“And no one cares. Look, The Strangler was a huge part of your life, but that was years ago. Now I need you to move on and give us what we want. And what we want, is another crappy Flenderson Files novel.

“Crappy?”

“I meant…. Yeah, crappy. You work isn't the best, but it's got a few dedicated readers. You're right about your little fame boost from the documentary coming back, but let's not waste that on this. So what if some kids on the internet think you're the strangler. You don’t need a book to disprove that. It's obvious you aren't… well strong enough to strangle someone to death.”

“Actually, he never killed anyone. He just strangled them until they passed out. Which is part of why I don’t think it could by Skub, because when he tried to strangle me he kept shouting that he was going to kill me. Anyway, it could have been me, or anyone in the Scranton.”

“It still couldn't have been you. Or anyone in the office. I mean, the documentary crew was following you around all the time, and it's clear they were able to record you without you noticing. You would have to be a criminal mastermind to get around them. Are you trying to tell me that you, or Michael, or… Kevin could have gotten around them?”

__________________________________________________________________________

Toby's Recording room

“So, They didn’t like my pitch. But that's ok. Because I'm sure I can convince them of it once they read the completed novel. Um… Oh, you should see my Strangler room.”  
__________________________________________________________________________

Toby House, Outside a closed door.

Toby takes a key out of his pocket and unlocks the door. Inside the walls are covered in newspaper clippings related to the strangler. There are multiple colored strings connecting several of the newspapers. There's also a small desk with several crumpled pieces of paper on it. 

“This is my Strangler room. I keep this stuff so I can think examine the case whenever I have free time, which is pretty often now that my daughter is in College and my ex-wife is… my ex. Most of the strings don’t actually mean anything…. I just thought they would help if I put them up.”

__________________________________________________________________________  
Toby’s recording room

“How long have I had this room? Not long, just since the Trail ended, so close to a decade Why do I keep it locked? After the documentary, I figured that the real killer would realize how close I was to finding him… or her...or them, and so I keep it locked to protect my findings. Once the book is published I won't have to worry about that anymore, because I plan to end the book by revealing the true identity of the Strangler… When I uh… find it.”

__________________________________________________________________________

“So it's been about three days since I started recording. Mostly I've just been staring at my newspapers and uh… You know, I've been thinking. Why couldn’t someone from the office have done it. Why couldn't they have gotten around the camera crew? They were so focused on Jim and Pam, and Michael, they wouldn't have noticed if anyone else was the Strangler. So I… I wrote a little something called, “Me Kevin, Me Scranton Strangler” That i'm going to read to you.”

Toby holds up a piece of paper for the camera to see then begins reading from it.

__________________________________________________________________________  
Me Kevin, Me Scranton Strangler

My name is Kevin Malone, and I'm the Scranton Strangler.

I'm in Andrew’s office. Even I don’t know how this idiot got Michaels old job. Even if Robert California just wanted to give the job to some other idiot, he could have done better. 

Right now James and Andrew are complaining about my new method of communication. It's quite ingenious. I removed the unnecessary words from my sentences. The annoyance it's caused everyone is amusing. 

Neither of them know I'm the Scranton Strangler. No one does. And little games like this are why. I've never let my true intelligence slip, not here. 

It wasn’t so I could be the Scranton Strangler. I didn’t plan that far ahead. I just wanted to be free. When people understand how intelligent you are, they begin to expect things from you. Its exhausting, being expected to perform at my full capacity. But no one at Dunder Mifflin would ever expect anything of Kevin Malone.

Beyond expectations, the freedom to violate the law comes from my lower intelligence as well. I've stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars from this company without them noticing. Several branches had to close because of me, and the company has no idea. The closet anyone came to catching me was when Anglea noticed $3000 missing, but by the end of the day I had convinced her she forgot to submit a receipt.

The strangling was no accident. I wanted to see If I could do it, If I could get away with it. I picked the first victim, followed him for three months. I learned his schedule, his friends, his habits. I learned everything about him.

Maybe I was too invested in him, but I was so excited. I was careful. I wore gloves, I didn’t leave anything behind. That's what they always say. Criminals always return to the Scene of the crime, and they always leave something behind or take something with them that gets them caught. But I didn't leave anything behind. Except I did.

Turns out I didn’t kill my victim, I left him unconscious. Luckily he didn’t see me. If he had, I would have been in jail. Which… excites me even more. Killing someone is hard, but leaving your victim alive is even harder. He could have given me away if I had made even the slightest mistake. 

I didn't spend as long preparing for my next target. Sometimes I wouldn’t prepare at all. One of my victims just happened to be walking down a dark street at the right time. Another I followed home because she crossed the road talking on her phone. 

It was the best time of my life. And of course the good times had to end. I decided to pin my crimes on some random buffoon before I was caught. George Howard Skub was the perfect scapegoat. 

He was unnaturally creepy, quick to anger, and (coincidentally) was the ex-boyfriend of one of my first victims. Framing him was easy. Once it was done, I just had to stand there with the rest of the office morons and watch his capture.

Now Andrew and James have convinced me to speak in full sentences again. 

“When me President, they see. They see.”

Me Kevin. Me Scranton Strangler.  
__________________________________________________________________________  
Toby’s Recording Room

“So… yeah. It's… not great… but um… Yeah, no, yeah. Im convinced. Kevin is the Scranton Strangler. Yeah, he could easily have faked his… low intelligence. But, I need proof. So… let's go to his bar and talk to him.”

__________________________________________________________________________  
Kevin's Office

Toby walks into Kevin's bar. He hasn’t been here since Dwight and Angela's wedding, but he had rewatched the footage enough to know that it had changed, and so had the name. Now the inside was decorated with Office memorabilia. Some of it Toby had in his house. Kevin was busy bartending, but perked up as soon as he saw Toby sit at the bar.

“Toby! Hey, I haven't seen you in years.”

“Yeah Kev… hows… hows it going?”

“Good! I was worried about you, you haven't shown up to our monthly bar nights that we have. You know, they ones where everyone from the office get together.”

“Yeah I-”

“Everyone's there. Kelly, Erin, Angela, Dwight, the others, Creed sometimes, whenever he breaks out of jail.”

“Creed breaks out of jail to come here?”

“Yeah. So now the cops just come here whenever he breaks out. I get why they do it, but I don’t want this to be a cop bar.”

“Yeah, no, wouldn't want to ruin the vibe you got going here. So it's all based on the show?”

“Yeah, all the drink specials are named after people from the office too. Can I get you a Toby?”

“Sure.”

Kevin steps away for a minute and returns with a cup of clear liquid. Toby was nervous to get drunk around the Scranton Strangler, but decided to drink it to avoid suspicious.

“Oh, its water.”

Kevin laughs.

“Can I get ice?”  
“Well then it's not a Toby, it's an Angela, cuz, you know, when the documentary was filming she was really mean. And sometimes mean people are called cold.”

“That's clever Kev. “

“Thanks, I worked really hard on it. Anyway, you're drinks are on me tonight. And food to. Do you want anything from the Stamford Brunch menu? I can get you a Tony Gardner Salad, a Karen Filippelli Philly Cheese steak Or the Stanley Hudson Pretzel Experience?”

“Stanley didn’t wasn’t part of the Stamford branch.”

“I forgot the rest of their names. ”

 

Kevin handed Toby a menu. Toby decided to try a Nard-Dog hot dog (basically a Chicago style hot dog) and an Oscar Martini. They talked for a while. Toby enjoyed catching up with Kevin, learning about his new girlfriend, his new business partner, and the Monthly office meetups.

“So almost everyone makes it?”

“Almost. Michael is super busy, Jim, Pam, and Darryl are still in Philly, so they come less often. Jim and PAm usually make it tho. We’d really like it if you came too.”

“Sorry, I've been super busy with the book i'm writing. So how did you come up with the idea to base the bar off the show?”

He had been working on the Strangler case for years, so it wasn’t technically a lie.

“We were already doing our group meetings here, and usually I close the place down for us, but I forgot to put a sign up one time. People loved drinking with the office cast, and I already got a lot of business form people who wanted to meet on their way through Scranton. The idea just came to me. I got everyone together at the next meeting to talk about it. They helped me come up with some of the names too. Angela named hers, said she thought it was better to be a non-alcoholic drink anyway. You weren't here, so we made you water. So what about this book you're writing?”

__________________________________________________________________________  
Kevin's Office Bathroom

 

“Ok, didn’t have time to get home to record this. I made a quick excuse to use the bathroom. This is crucial. I haven't found any evidence, and I cannot afford to give away that I'm looking into the case again. I just have to tell him something made up. I've had a few too many drinks, but /i can do this.  
__________________________________________________________________________  
Kevin's Office

“So what’s the book about?”

“The Scranton Strangler.”

__________________________________________________________________________  
“Crap.”  
__________________________________________________________________________

“You still think he’s innocent? He Strangled you? And you were hurt pretty bad.”

“I… I just don’t think he did it. I think he was an angry man, maybe not the nicest person, but it doesn't make sense for him to have done it.”

“But they caught him?”

“He could have been framed.”

“Oh… well, then, I hope you catch him. IT must suck to be accused of being the Strangler. Which you should know because of that internet thing.”

“Thank you! I just, I really want to solve this so I can move on, you know. I feel like my life's been on hold and maybe the Stranglers just an excuse so I don’t have to deal with that but I just need to solve it.”

“I get that. I'Ve been trying to solve this crossword puzzle for four months, and last weekend I even put reschedule a date night to try and finish it. I do hope you find the real killer though. I think you will, from what you said you know a lot more about this case than I do. And I know a lot of things now so… you know.”

“Thanks Kev.”

__________________________________________________________________________  
Toby’s Recording Room

“IT's not Kevin. He really isn’t an evil genius, I mean , he had to use a flashcard to know what state we live in. Besides, I was actually with Kevin during one of the nights the Strangler attacked. And now I feel bad for thinking he could have been a killer. But i'm glad I did, because I got to see my friend again, and maybe… maybe I'll go back sometime. I'm not ready for the monthly meetings, even if Michael isn't there. But, maybe I should reconnect with the other workers. Might be nice to see them again.”  
__________________________________________________________________________  
Toby’s Therapists Office

“Well, it sounds like you had a good week. You met Kevin again, and I think it's good that you're finally making a book about the Strangler, it'll be good to finally put that behind you. Why did the book lead you to Kevin though.”

“I… thought he could have been the killer?”

“That doesn't sound like the Kevin you described in our previous sessions.”

__________________________________________________________________________  
Toby’s Recording Room

“A couple notes. First, I got a little notebook and now I write down everything I want to say here so I don't have to use Kevin's bathroom again. Two, It took about four months, but I did find a therapist who hadn’t seen the documentary and says he won't as long as i'm his patient. Which is nice, they always think they know me from the documentary and they feel really bad for me which is… not fun.”  
__________________________________________________________________________

 

“No, it's not like him at all.”

“Well, that's good. And i'm glad you can look back and realize that. Making connections with the people you lost touch with might be good for you. We’re almost out of time, but I wanted to talk about that idea you had, about filming yourself like you did in the documentary.”

“Yeah.”

“And I just wanted to make sure you still agreed it would be a bad idea?”

“Of course. I totally understand and will not film myself at all.”  
__________________________________________________________________________  
Toby’s Recording Room

“Ill edit that part out later.”

**Author's Note:**

> I figured he would get along with Kevin the easiest. And im hoping to use Kevin's bar to bring some of the other characters back.


End file.
